Solids: Stage 4

Will is weaning himself away from nursing and from purees in favor of feeding himself.  Why fight it?  We are on to finger foods full force now!

So, in mapping out Will's food through the day, I think of these rules:

• Three meals a day, plus a snack if he misses that late-afternoon nursing time for whatever reason.
• Breakfast = Fruit & Grain
• Lunch = Fruit, Vegetable, & Protein
• Dinner = Meat, Fruit, & Vegetable
• I try to make sure the vegetables and fruits are different to ensure he's getting a variety of nutrients.

Types of finger foods on the menu vary.  

Fruits include:

• banana
• mango
• peach
• pear
• plum
• Clementines
• strawberries
• peeled grapes
• halved blueberries
• applesauce

Vegetables include:

• frozen peas
• frozen broccoli florets
• sweet potato
• potato
• green beans
• beets
• squash
• zucchini
• eggplant
• frozen corn kernels

Proteins include:

• black beans
• cheese
• yogurt

Meats include:

• chicken
• ground turkey
• ground beef

Grains include:

• oatmeal
• brown rice
• brown rice cous cous
• pasta

Will's Best Friend

Bella is by far Will's best friend.  It is so cute to watch their relationship developing from the early days to now....

Bella was protective of Will even before he was born.

As long as Bella got to sit with Daddy, too, she didn't mind if Will took the other arm.

So cozy, curled up together.  Will seemed to easily fit into Bella's lifestyle.

Will started to notice Bella and she, well, tolerated him...

...until the ear pulling and the tail pulling and the skin & hair pulling...yikes.

But then came the hugging.

And the playing.

And for the time being, they are pals.

Things I Learned About Being a Mom From Being a Teacher (Part 2)

{Part 2}

In addition to academic skills, there are life skills that parents need to develop in their children.  Parents know they need to teach safety, hygiene, household chores, but there are other more nuanced skills that sometimes get lost.  It's probably easier in the moment not to teach these skills and just take care of a situation ourselves instead.  Guilty.  But the students who possessed these traits were much more successful in school, personal relationships, and more prepared for the road ahead.

5. Parents should teach their kids to advocate for themselves.
On a couple occasions, I asked a student about something (like, "Do you have your essay to turn in today?" or "How about taking your make up quiz today during study hall?"), got a one-word answer (like, "no" or "fine"), and then an hour later, found a lengthy email in my in-box from the child's parent explaining the situation and asking for some kind of exception or extension to save their child from any kind of late penalty or bad quiz grade that they claimed the child was panicking about. This is a more extreme example to illustrate the point that many parents are enabling their children.  Their kids do not address problems themselves, even when a teacher initiates a conversation and gives them an opportunity to discuss an issue.  They do not know how to speak to adults in authority.  They have never had to.  They know that a quick text or call to mom or dad and like magic, poof! the situation is solved for them.  The added trouble is that often certain details are lost in translation...because the student knows how to manipulate the parent and the teacher to get what they want.  Not only is this usually sneaky, it is not a good long-term set up.  There will be situations where students will have to explain themselves to a professor or ask for something from a boss.  The only way they are prepared for this is with practice from the home training camp.  Starting in middle school or junior high, parents should listen to their student's issue, ask lots of questions to make sure they know the whole story, then help the student come up with what to say to the teacher the next day in order to solve the problem.  Maybe even engage in some role-play to help them practice.  Of course if the student tries and the teacher truly seems unreasonable, then it's good for the student to know they have the parent as an ally to go to bat for them, but if they learn how to advocate for themselves, this skill will be invaluable in future relationships and work settings. 



6. Parents should teach their kids online etiquette.
Kids today are internet "natives."  They navigate the web and figure out devices with lightning speed while I'm still trying to figure out how to turn on my iPad.  They will spend a lot of time online.  But they're doing it largely without instruction, rules, or supervision.  And if you think your parental controls are censoring the web sufficiently, I wouldn't be so sure.  There are two big areas where kids need specific, direct instruction.  One is email writing.  When I was in school, I was taught how to write a business letter with a proper heading, salutation, etc.  Now kids need to be taught how to write a business email.  Shorthand in an email to a friend is fine, but I received many emails from students with no salutation, no punctuation, no capital letters, no signature (no kidding--I really did not know who these emails were from!).  Another is online privacy--or lack thereof.  Students at our school were about to riot when they learned that several students were being suspended for underage drinking based on evidence from Facebook photos that mysteriously ended up on the principal's desk.  Kids don't realize that the web is a public space, that anything they post is out there, fair game, and viewable by parents, teachers, employers, friends, and enemies.  Caution is suggested.  Even privacy settings aren't a foolproof safeguard because you can't control what other people post about you.  (This can be a great teaching moment to discuss the importance of integrity, too.)


7. Parents should give their kids opportunities to problem solve.
I already see this struggle.  Poor Will is about to flip head over heels as he is reaching for a ball that rolled underneath a chair.  I am sitting a foot away, watching, restraining myself even though I desperately want to reach over and get the darn thing for him.  He might hurt himself, he might not be able to reach it after all, but I'm trying to give him the chance to problem solve.  And after he contorted himself into a strange version of downward dog, he got the ball.  It's not easy.  And it only gets harder.  But watching your child face a problem and not solving it for them yields self-confidence, healthy self-esteem, creativity, and a willingness to accept challenges--traits that most parents want to see their children possess.  Frustration isn't a bad thing.  Frustration is a sign that a child is trying something new...that a child is learning.  Don't fight it.  And if they fail, well, help them out, but let them know that you're proud of them for trying.



8. Parents should insist on honesty.
One of our classic family stories is about a time when I was three years old and I took three Oreo cookies out of an open package on the supermarket shelf.  I must have known that this was not okay, because I stashed them in my pocket until we got to the car...and didn't realize that my mother had a rear-view mirror which allowed her to easily see the evidence all over my face.  We drove home where she made me take out three nickels from my piggy bank (one nickel for each cookie) and then we drove back to the supermarket and I confessed to the manager and paid for the cookies I had stolen.  My mom did not tolerate lying in any form.  And let me tell you: I never shoplifted again.  Honesty starts with little things.  "White lies" seem to be acceptable in our culture.  Many kids see their parents telling white lies when they tell a friend they aren't feeling well enough to get together and then go shopping instead.  This translates to lying, stealing, and cheating.  When I took polls, most of my students did not think cheating was wrong.  This belief no doubt fuels some of the corruption we see in Washington and on Wall Street today.  How to we change it?  Parents model honesty and insist on honesty from their children. 

I'm not a psychologist...and I'm still a rookie parent.  I was a teacher for eight years and I took mental notes along the way.

Eleven Months

Will is not a baby anymore!  It is amazing how in the last month he has become so communicative and so responsive.  He clearly understands much of what I say (including "no") and even though he only has one little high-pitched escalating "uh?" sound, he can use that to communicate exactly what he wants.  That little "uh?" can mean "more," or "what is that?" or "I want that" or even "play with me" depending on the circumstances.  And he has also become good at scrunching up his face and throwing food to indicate that he is done with a meal.  That one we might need to work on a little.

He does have a lot of other babbles using all sorts of consonants and vowels now...and one very consistent word: Bella.  Sometimes it sounds like "Bewa" and sometimes it's just "Beh," but when he sees her, he points and says her name.  He's working on Mama and Dada...I'm sure they'll come in time!  But for now, Bella is his best friend.  She has started to enjoy him, too, and she'll even bring him her rope to play tug-of-war.  And while she's lying on her bed, Will will come over and give her hugs.  He still enjoys pulling her tail but for the most part, they get along famously.

He's eating nearly all finger foods now.  He much prefers to feed himself rather than be fed a puree.  He's a really good eater.  He isn't thrilled about strawberries or avocados, but pretty much everything else I've offered him gets gobbled up.  His new favorites this month are watermelon and clementines.  He can't get enough.

We enjoyed our first family vacation this month to Kiawah Island with all the Wilsons.  It was exhausting, but a good time.  Will loved the water and seemed to enjoy the beach more and more as the week went on.  It was such a joy for me to watch Will enjoying the beach that I fell in love with as a kid.  How wonderful to be able to share that with him.

Traveling was a bit more challenging now that he is crawling everywhere.  He's into drawers and doors...crawling has opened up a whole new world for him and he clearly loves the freedom!  One of his favorite things is to play Peek-a-Boo by crawling from one end of the ottoman (or kitchen island or large chair) to the other, and peeking out from each side.  He also loves playing with balls, throwing them and chasing them.  His favorite toy is the dinosaur popper that plays music and bounces balls around in its tummy.  Except I often find the balls hidden in the corner of the family room and the popper filled with socks, puzzle pieces, plastic bowls, and toy cars.  He loves hearing different noises clacking all around.  It is funny, I have to admit!  Even though he is active and happy at home, he is still very shy around new people and it takes him a long time to warm up in new environments.  It will be interesting to see his personality continue to develop. 

At night now, Will isn't falling asleep nursing any more.  He finishes nursing and then he lets me cuddle him and rock him for a while before I put him in his crib for the night.  With his head on my shoulder I can't help but thank God for Will and for the chance to be his mom.  These days go by quickly and I want to soak up every moment.  One day I will hardly believe he used to fit in my arms!  For now, though, I'm just so happy to have him there.

My Mom Mission

I just read a book review about a book on how to be a "missional mom" and find meaning in the role of a mother.  The book focuses on looking to serve God outside of the home in order to find fulfillment.  Now, I haven't read this book, and I realize that a review can be very slanted.  However, these ideas got me thinking: What is my mission as a mom?  How do I mark progress on a daily basis?  How do I make this job a truly fulfilling one? 


So, I need a mission statement.  I guess it would be something like this: I will seek God first and with His strength, put my family above all else, aiming to meet their needs in order to help them become people who are Spirit-filled, emotionally secure, and physically fit.

What might this look like?  First of all, I realize my role as a child of God.  I make Bible study, personal quiet time, and prayer a priority in my life.  I can't feel guilty about skipping a nap in order for me to go to Bible study, or about letting Will play quietly by himself for a little while.  I must be willing to obey God's call above my selfish desires.  (Easier said than done.)

Then, I think about my family.  I've written before about how my husband has to be a priority over my child.  So, I think about my role as a wife.  I must be willing to make time for us, to serve him by making healthy dinners, doing chores, and running errands during the day to take some items off of his plate, and to leave myself with enough gas left in the tank to be fully present with him after Will is in bed and we have time together to talk and share.

And what about the rest of the day?  What about those many hours when I'm just Mom?  When it's just me and Will at home together?  What makes those times meaningful?  What supplements the sense of fulfillment that used to come from my job as a teacher? 

I guess it starts with need-meeting.  I guess every time I cut up a banana and pour a sippy cup of juice, I'm meeting Will's needs and I'm fulfilling my mission.  Every time I change his diaper and rock him to sleep, I'm fulfilling my mission.  Every time I snuggle him and kiss his cheeks, I'm fulfilling my mission.  Every time I hold his hand and say grace with him and sing him a hymn for the umpteenth time, I'm fulfilling my mission. 

And if I think about it like that, at the end of the day, I can lay my head on the pillow and know that I'm doing all right.  I'm not perfect, but my little guy fell asleep for the night in my arms, content, secure, loved, happy, clean, and fed.  I'm laying a foundation for him which hopefully will one day be solid enough for him to jump off of and soar.

Whether or not I do so intentionally or even well, the truth is that I will show Will what love is.  I will shape his view of who God is.  I will model the way marriage should be.  I will set his expectations for how his own wife should behave.  I will set the course in his life for the type of man he will become.  I cannot think of a greater, more fulfilling mission than that.