The Dinner Dilemma

One of the things that is really important to me and Alex is making healthy, homemade meals through the week.  This is important for financial and health reasons...and it ended up being an important factor in our decision for me to stay home.

When I was working, though, getting dinner on the table at night was even more difficult than it is now!  I dreaded that time of the week when I asked, "So...what do you want for dinner this week?"  I hated trying to come up with ideas out of thin air.  I hated the time I was spending on just planning to get to the store.  And if I didn't plan well, I ended up going to the grocery store several times in one week.

Not acceptable.

I finally settled on a system that my mom suggested: I started to map out game plans for 4 weeks of meals (now I have six).  I went with recipes I knew were fast, healthy...and recipes that both Alex and I really liked.  With our picky-eater syndrome, this meant no cheese, no cream sauces, no vegetarian meals, and no red meat.  It took a little while, but I came up with menus and now I just rotate them around each week.  I only wrote out 5 per week, leaving one day for going out somewhere, and one day for making something new or different or special (special in my book was anything that required a special trip to the store!).  Done.  No thinking, planning, guessing.  One trip to the store every week and that is it.

I'm not completely set on this schedule or anything.  When I get a new idea, I certainly try it out and modify a menu.  Obviously things come up that change our schedule.  I don't even stick to it each week.  The point is that for me, a weekly meal planner saves time, money, and stress.  On those weeks when I'm not feeling inspired, when dinners seem like a chore, at least I can pull out my meal planner and I know I can make it happen.

I'll share my menus...but this is just an idea.  Everyone has to find a system that fits with their own personality, family preferences, schedule, etc.  It's tough, but it's worth it!  Good luck!

Reciprocal Love

Now that Will is 7 months old, he is able to show love to me.  For a while this has been a pretty one-sided relationship...give, give give.  Now, though, Will is giving back!

When we're playing on the floor, he'll reach for me to pick him up or to hold him on my lap.  When I pick him up, he snuggles his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around my neck and cuddles with me.  When we're sitting together, he's even starting to lean his face against mine as if he's mimicking the way I kiss his cheeks.  Even the separation anxiety he's experiencing in the church nursery, while painful, is such a nice sign that he knows me and loves me and wants to be with me.  What joy.

Can We Really Have It All?

As I've been meeting other soon-to-be moms, I've noticed that most of them are planning to return to work after their babies are born.  In fact, on some of these pregnancy websites, it seems as though they assume that women are going back to work, constantly offering tips about pumping breast milk during the day, filing FMLA paperwork, and choosing a day care.

I'm in the minority.  I know of only 2 other moms my age who are also staying home with their children.  I recognize that each woman has to make this decision for herself and there are no two situations that are exactly alike.  For us, this is the best choice.  Financially, we can swing it (but it will be tight!), and it's the best decision based on our values.  I want to be able to focus my Type-A energy on raising a child, building into our marriage, preparing nutritious meals, managing the household affairs, and generally reducing as much chaos as possible from our already unpredictable lives.  I know that if I continued to teach on top of all of this, it would be one too many roles for me to handle effectively.  I would always feel like I'm falling short and would live with guilt and frustration.  I would always put myself last, not allowing me to visit with friends or go to the gym--activities that build me up physically and emotionally.

Some women have no choice.  Especially in today's economy!  Some women may be better moms if they continue to work and have that adult "outlet."  Some women choose to continue to work for other reasons.  I don't want to judge any other woman's decision, but I wonder if sometimes we make choices not based on what's best for us, but rather based on what we feel society expects.  Women of my generation have been raised to believe that we can do everything a man can do--and even more!  We can earn any business title, we can lead any organization, we can propose marriage, we can handle our own money and make our own choices.  We can also bear perfect children, live in a house straight out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine, and spend spa days with our girlfriends.  I believe all these things are true, but at some point, these expectations are unrealistic.  Something has to give.  It may be the marriage that takes last priority.  It may be the job performance that suffers.  It may be the children, left to nannies and housekeepers.  It may be our own well being.

I love that women are now being raised to see the world as being full of endless possibilities.  I believe that men and women should be treated equally and have the same choices and options.  But I wonder if the feminist movement has also done some damage.

I recently heard Martha Stewart interviewed on an old Oprah show (from 1994).  She commented that she considered herself to be a modern feminist because she is trying to bring value and respect to the many tasks involved with managing a household.  This was an interesting concept to me.  Maybe our society has lost respect for the traditional "female" roles?  Maybe women (and men, for that matter!) are ashamed or feel inferior if they choose to devote their lives to their families?  I think true equality of the sexes will be reached when women and men have the freedom to make any career choices, but base those choices on what's best for their situations, not on what they think society expects.