Training Pays Off!

I am often reminding myself that disciplining a toddler is really just training him in how he should go.  Rather than consequences for bad behavior all the time, it seems that it's really more about enforcing correct behavior so that he learns the proper way to act.  So, when I ask him to clean up the toys and he doesn't, he probably doesn't need a spanking.  He needs me to make sure he does clean up before he does anything else, showing him that he is expected to obey.  I can't expect complete compliance all the time.  He's 2 and this is new territory.  I am setting boundaries and he is testing them.  It's a dance.... I am trying to be consistent and teach him what the expectations are.

I say the same lines over and over and over again, as calmly as I can:

"When Mommy says to come here, Will, you come right away." 

"You obey Mommy the first time and with a happy face."

"That's not how you ask for things.  You say 'Mommy, may I please have ___?'"

And today.  Finally.  After uttering that last one probably hundreds of times, breakthrough.

I was nursing Ben on the couch while Will ate a snack at the table.  All of a sudden I hear, "Mommy, may I please have a wet towel?"

Music to my ears.  It paid off.  It will be hundreds of more times before he asks like that consistently, but that was just enough encouragement to me to keep going.  Keep calm.  He will get it eventually.  My job is to train him in the way he should go.  I have to keep at it!

To Blog...or Not To Blog?

I have not written anything here in a long time.  Not since I got pregnant and tired.  I decided I needed to spend nap time, well, napping...so that's what I did.  I have struggled with whether or not I should continue writing.  I want to.  I have lots to say...lots to remember and record.  I have a bad memory, so I like the idea of a lasting record of those melt-your-heart moments.  On the other hand, I want to be fully present for those moments.  For me, that requires being rested.  And I require a lot of rest.  I also want to make sure that I'm present for those moments and enjoying them, not just taking pictures so that I can post them later. I don't want to live my own life vicariously.

So, I think I'll continue as I can, when I can.  This blog is really just for me.  A place to ponder, reflect, process, improve.  A place to challenge myself to get better and to look for encouragement when I stink.  I want to be honest and let other moms know that they aren't alone in their fears and failures. 

Motherhood is tough.  And a little lonely.  Writing, letting other people into my world, makes me feel like I'm not alone, too.