Recently my son was diagnosed with hearing loss, and fluid in his ears. The doctor is hopeful we can correct it with tubes, but there is a small chance he will have permanent damage to his ears depending on how long the fluid has been sitting there (which is anyone's guess...long story).
Chances are this is a total non-issue and he will wake up from tube surgery hearing normally again. I know of a lot of children who are going through serious stuff, life-threatening stuff. I realize this is such a small deal that many of you are rolling your eyes right now. But the emotions involved with learning that your child is struggling--in any way--are real, and intense. As I've processed this I've learned a few things I wanted to share, mostly as reminders to myself, because even if this turns out to be nothing, I know how life works. Eventually my kids will all hit bumpy patches and my mama heart will want to jump in there and fix it. So future Sarah, listen up.
First of all, we can't shield our kids from bad things happening. That's just life. They'll fail tests and hear hurtful comments. They'll be left out. They will find there are things they just aren't good at. This is life. Our job as parents isn't to pretend like these things don't exist or to keep our kids in a bubble so they don't have to feel any negative emotions. Our job is to help them navigate these feelings. Easier said than done. And with my boys who don't talk to me? Sounds impossible. Ugh. But I can model. I can teach them how to pray and bring their negative emotions before the Lord and entrust them there. When I do know what's going on, I can help them love those who hurt them and I can help them study for next time. I can remind them of how they are fearfully and wonderfully made and point out their strengths and skills.
And there's another important truth. Nothing will happen to our kids (or to us...but that's a whole other post) that God doesn't allow out of His immense love for us. Seems confusing sometimes but the truth is that God is writing our kids' stories. He is the divine author with the whole picture in mind. He knows the number of hairs on their heads and their number of days on this planet. He can be trusted. And he will use all of the hurts and pains and struggles to mold them and shape them into the little humans he wants them to be.
So if my son ends up with a hearing aid (seriously...the worst case scenario here is so not a big deal! I get that!), guess what? God has a plan. He will make it beautiful. Maybe he will have greater compassion for people who are different or disabled? Maybe he will learn sign language...and that skill could lead him to any number of cool experiences! I don't know. I don't know what his life will hold. But I can't live it for him. And I can't hold on to fear or guilt. I can only trust him in the mighty arms of the One who entrusted him to us, and who loves him more than we ever could.
