It has begun. We now look at Will and say "No." My little innocent angel is now pulling my hair, clawing at my face, taking the washcloth out of my hands as I'm trying to wash down his face, grabbing at poor Bella. Yikes. I don't even think he understands exactly what "no" means. I do. And it sucks.
I loved these early months of not saying "no" to anything. My whole goal was to let Will explore his surroundings...nothing was off limits. Sure, put that in your mouth. Yes, you can touch that. What does it feel like?
All of a sudden, he can get into things that are bad for him and I have to lay down the law.
I guess this is parenting. A struggle between your love for your kid that desires for them to have fun and enjoy life, and your love for your kid that desires for them to stay alive and in one piece. And not only that, but to become a person who is of good character.
I don't want to always be saying "no." I have to be conscious in the future of making sure that I say "yes" enough that Will experiences life. But I have to be willing to say "no." And mean it.
I'm just scratching the surface of this whole parenting thing. I'm going to need a LOT of help. If I struggle with saying "no" I'm going to struggle with a lot worse things. Yikes. God help me!
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
12.01.2011
What You Need...and What You Don't (First 3 months)
I think the hardest thing was making a registry and figuring out all the things I would need for a baby. Everyone will tell you something different, but here's my stab at it!
First, you need all the nitty-gritty practical healthcare stuff...the lotions, the diapers, the wipes. See my post on Preparation. Then, you need a copy of Baby Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields. This is a great resource that outlines pros and cons of different name brands for nearly every piece of baby equipment you can imagine!
Additional things you'll NEED:
Stuff you'll probably want:
First, you need all the nitty-gritty practical healthcare stuff...the lotions, the diapers, the wipes. See my post on Preparation. Then, you need a copy of Baby Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields. This is a great resource that outlines pros and cons of different name brands for nearly every piece of baby equipment you can imagine!
Additional things you'll NEED:
- Carseat
- Stroller (preferably one that holds the newborn carseat)
- Crib (make sure sides are not moveable)
- Crib mattress
- 2 crib sheets
- Changing pad of some type
- 2 changing pad covers
- Baby hairbrush
- Baby Tylenol
- Baby nail clippers
- Thermometer
- Swing/Bouncy seat--somewhere to set baby down to sleep or play
- Swaddle blankets (at least 2-3)
- 4-5 newborn size sleep-and-play outifts (try to get ones with mitten cuffs!)
- 3 newborn-size long-sleeve onesies or t-shirts
- 4 3-month-size sleep-and-play outfits
- 8-10 3-month-size outfits
- 3-6 3-month-size long-sleeve onesies
- 6 pairs of socks--I like GAP socks and Gymboree socks the best
- Diaper bag
- 5-7 bottles, even if you're breastfeeding
- Formula (nice to have an emergency stash even if you're breastfeeding)
- Distilled water for formula
- Teethers
- 12 Burp cloths
- 6 bibs
- Baby hooded towel and 3 washcloths
- Nursing pads, nursing bra
- Pacifiers, hat, ball syringe you'll get at the hospital!
Stuff you'll probably want:
- Small sleep sack and/or SwaddleMe
- Bassinet
- Rocking chair for baby's room
- Light-blocking window shades
- CD player or sound machine
- Diaper pail
- Mobile for crib
- Crib skirt
- Nursery decorations
- Baby monitor
- Dimmer switch on the light in baby's room
- Humidifier
- Baby medicine dispensing pacifier
- Baby bathtub
- Pack-N-Play
- Swing AND Bouncy seat (different babies like one or the other better...or like my baby, they have preferences on different days)
- Play gym with a few toys
- Boardbooks
- Variety of pacifier brands to see what works for your baby
- pacifier wipes
- A few additional outfits
- Dreft laundry detergent or some other dye-free and perfume-free brand
- Oxiclean Baby and Oxiclean Baby spray stain remover
- Laundry basket
- Breast pump (if you're breastfeeding)
- Breastmilk storage bags
- nursing wrap
- baby carrier (Baby Bjorn, Ergo, Moby wrap)
- Bumbo seat
- Camera/video camera
- Carseat cover for cold weather
- Additional strollers (I was glad I had a stroller frame to fit the baby carrier in addition to the travel system stroller for walks)
- Boppy pillow
- File for receipts and manuals for baby equipment
- Teething gel
- Breathable crib bumper
- I had a bouncy seat on each level of my house so I had a place to put Will when I was showering upstairs, or working out in the basement.
- A jogging stroller
- Video monitor
- Boogie Wipes
- Itzbeen timer
- Play try for Bumbo seat
- A second play gym to keep in the car--easy entertainment when you visit a non-kid-inhabited space
- Bottle Warmer
- Too many clothes--you'll be doing a lot of laundry anyway!
- A traditional crib set (bumper, quilt, etc.)
- Mittens (they never stay on anyway)
- Bumbo seat cover
- Dreft--any perfume-free, dye-free detergent will work
7.06.2011
Really?
Recently I read an article posted on the New York Post website entitled “Smokin’ Pot Mamas!” The article exposes an underground movement of mothers who smoke marijuana in order to deal with the pressures of parenting. Hmm. Now I know I’m not yet a mom and I can’t imagine how stressful the job of full-time mom will be—and I’m certainly not kidding myself and thinking I’ll be sitting around watching soap operas all day. BUT, pot? Really?
First of all, let’s just remind ourselves that pot is still illegal in this country. Legalizing marijuana a whole other debate which I will not engage in here, but the fact is that mothers who smoke pot are breaking the law. This sets a horrible example for their kids. And let’s face it: children are much more likely to imitate what they see their parents and role models DO rather than to obey what they SAY.
The article also points out the similarities and differences between using pot and using alcohol to unwind. The mom interviewed in the article claims that smoking pot is safer than drinking because drinking can bring out aggressive behavior and can have long-term effects. This may be true of heavy drinking—I agree that an alcoholic mother is not preferable to a pot-smoking one. But what about heavy marijuana use? Mothers who smoke heavily lose the awareness necessary to respond appropriately to their children’s needs and can compromise their safety, even after they are asleep for the night. So abusing alcohol or pot leads to the same outcome: Parents who are unable to properly care for their children. Now, the mother interviewed may be considering just light use—just enough to take the edge off. If we compare light pot use to light alcohol use, pot still doesn’t make sense. Marijuana smoke can fill the house and affect children where one glass of wine can have the same relaxing effect for the mom with no side effects on the kids.
No matter how stressful parenting gets, it’s up to the parent to control her own behavior and attitude and to manage in an adult way. I have to believe that there are better, safer, ways of dealing with parenting stress. Instead of turning to pot (or alcohol), I hope I take a walk or a bath. On tough days, I hope I get a sitter or wait for Alex to get home and treat myself to a manicure or a shopping trip. I want to join a play group or a mom’s club to give myself relationships with other mothers who can encourage and support me. And I want to turn to God for strength and perspective. I don’t want to cloud my mind and miss these precious days with small children. Even though there will be days when it doesn’t seem true, I believe everyone who says that kids grow up too fast!
First of all, let’s just remind ourselves that pot is still illegal in this country. Legalizing marijuana a whole other debate which I will not engage in here, but the fact is that mothers who smoke pot are breaking the law. This sets a horrible example for their kids. And let’s face it: children are much more likely to imitate what they see their parents and role models DO rather than to obey what they SAY.
The article also points out the similarities and differences between using pot and using alcohol to unwind. The mom interviewed in the article claims that smoking pot is safer than drinking because drinking can bring out aggressive behavior and can have long-term effects. This may be true of heavy drinking—I agree that an alcoholic mother is not preferable to a pot-smoking one. But what about heavy marijuana use? Mothers who smoke heavily lose the awareness necessary to respond appropriately to their children’s needs and can compromise their safety, even after they are asleep for the night. So abusing alcohol or pot leads to the same outcome: Parents who are unable to properly care for their children. Now, the mother interviewed may be considering just light use—just enough to take the edge off. If we compare light pot use to light alcohol use, pot still doesn’t make sense. Marijuana smoke can fill the house and affect children where one glass of wine can have the same relaxing effect for the mom with no side effects on the kids.
No matter how stressful parenting gets, it’s up to the parent to control her own behavior and attitude and to manage in an adult way. I have to believe that there are better, safer, ways of dealing with parenting stress. Instead of turning to pot (or alcohol), I hope I take a walk or a bath. On tough days, I hope I get a sitter or wait for Alex to get home and treat myself to a manicure or a shopping trip. I want to join a play group or a mom’s club to give myself relationships with other mothers who can encourage and support me. And I want to turn to God for strength and perspective. I don’t want to cloud my mind and miss these precious days with small children. Even though there will be days when it doesn’t seem true, I believe everyone who says that kids grow up too fast!
5.13.2011
I Am Who My Son Will Be
Alex and I have started grasping the idea that this is all really happening! Alex has been picturing the baby as a child for a long time now. I have been more focused on the pregnancy itself, monitoring my body changing, and worrying about everything being okay. I am finally allowing myself to get attached to the idea that soon, we will have a little boy in our house. Soon we will be changing diapers, buying tricycles, driving to Tee Ball practice, helping with homework, watching high school sporting events, and one day, choosing colleges.
As I begin to picture this little baby as a boy, I have been asking myself what I want him to be like. I want him to be a good student, athletic, respectful, compassionate, verbal. I want him to learn to love life and to be full of joy. I want him to be committed to Christ. This is a tall order. How do I train this child in a way that will make him all of these things?
My mother has said before that kids will learn what you teach, but they will replicate what you live. In other words, as I am with my son every day, I am modeling behaviors that he will one day replicate. I see that true in my own life—my own strengths and my own flaws are also strengths and flaws of my parents. No one is perfect, and I’m sure biology gets in the way here somewhere, but I’m starting to realize the huge responsibility I carry. If I want my son to read books, I have to read books. If I want my son to be compassionate, I have to participate in service projects and give generously to those in need. If I want my son to be full of joy, I have to let go of my worrying and lighten up a little. If I want my son to be committed to Christ, I have to make my own Bible reading and prayer a priority.
I cannot control who my son will be. I will not get caught up in worrying about that, either. I can—and I will—be the best person I can be and trust God with the rest.
As I begin to picture this little baby as a boy, I have been asking myself what I want him to be like. I want him to be a good student, athletic, respectful, compassionate, verbal. I want him to learn to love life and to be full of joy. I want him to be committed to Christ. This is a tall order. How do I train this child in a way that will make him all of these things?
My mother has said before that kids will learn what you teach, but they will replicate what you live. In other words, as I am with my son every day, I am modeling behaviors that he will one day replicate. I see that true in my own life—my own strengths and my own flaws are also strengths and flaws of my parents. No one is perfect, and I’m sure biology gets in the way here somewhere, but I’m starting to realize the huge responsibility I carry. If I want my son to read books, I have to read books. If I want my son to be compassionate, I have to participate in service projects and give generously to those in need. If I want my son to be full of joy, I have to let go of my worrying and lighten up a little. If I want my son to be committed to Christ, I have to make my own Bible reading and prayer a priority.
I cannot control who my son will be. I will not get caught up in worrying about that, either. I can—and I will—be the best person I can be and trust God with the rest.
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