I Pray for Angels

At night, when I am at my wits' end, I pray for angels. 

When he's crying, I stand by Will's crib and pray for angels to calm him when I cannot. 

When he's calm, I stand outside Will's door and pray for angels to sing him to sleep. 

When he is asleep, I lie in my bed and pray for angels to protect him through the night.

And knowing there are angels, I can sleep, too.

Things No One Told Me About Motherhood

Despite all the reading I did to prepare for this, there still have been some surprises.

Like how much laundry there really is to do.  It is a mathematical conundrum how one little person produces more dirty clothes, burp cloths, sheets, blankets, towels and changing pad covers than any adult!

And I can't believe how many times during the day I encounter liquid somewhere on my person and have no idea how it got there or even what it is.  I'm leaking, he's leaking, I'm eating and drinking on the run (usually standing up)...and then there's the dog.  This, however, is partly the cause of the aforementioned laundry!

I have been shocked at how little time I have to myself during the day.  I thought I would be bored out of my mind the first few months, but that couldn't be farther from the truth!  I'm running around non-stop...but at the end of the day, I have no idea what I actually accomplished.  Another conundrum.  "Sleep when the baby sleeps" is great advice in theory, but if you do that, when do you get anything done?

On that note, I'm going to take a nap.

We've Been Baby-fied!

I didn't think it would happen to me.  We like things nice and neat and tidy, but even our family room has been taken over by baby gear!

Before Will...

...and After!

So Precious As He Sleeps

Will is so peaceful and so precious as he sleeps.  I think he's especially precious asleep in my arms, but in the crib, the swing or the car seat, he's just plain old adorable!

One Month!

Will is officially one month old today. I feel a huge accomplishment knowing that according to the doctor he is "thriving and happy." We're doing something right! I've really taken this one day at a time...and we've done well for 31 days now! Will has grown physically from 9 pounds 7 ounces at birth to 10 pounds 14 ounces. Impressive! He is through with newborn size diapers and a few newborn size outfits no longer fit. It's amazing all the other ways he's changed, too. He looks more like a baby than a newborn already. He is so alert and sleeping a lot less during the day (and thankfully he's still sleeping 6-8 hour stretches at night!). He's smiling all the time. He's making noises. He's holding his head up. He's focusing on things including our faces--and his favorite thing to look at seems to be a photograph of a mountain we have framed over the family room couch. Though I think he sees the contrast of the white mat and black frame, Alex has dubbed the mountain "Will's Peak" and swears that every time he sees it, it produces a zen-like state. Hey--whatever works to calm a crying baby works for me!

I'm amazed at how much we have changed, too. We're a family now and no longer a couple. Not a single decision--from when to go to the grocery store to how to budget our money--made without factoring in Will. He's also already teaching us so many lessons. He's teaching me patience when all he wants to do is eat when I desperately want to take a nap or get some things done around the house. He's teaching me to trust the Lord in all things even when I put my baby down for the night and leave the room. He is in control! And perhaps above all he's teaching me about what is really important in life. And unloading the dishwasher is not important. Investing in a life has an impact for eternity.

I thank God for this opportunity. Being a mom is more challenging than I could have imagined and more of a blessing than I could have dreamed.

That's What Moms Are For

I can't imagine the first week with Will without my mom's help.  It was one of the hardest weeks of my life, and at the same time, one of the most amazing and memorable.  My mom did for me what her mom had done for her...and what I imagine her mom had done for her, and so on for centuries.  There is something so natural and comfortable about having your own mom show you the ropes and helping you navigate those first days.  As wonderful as Alex was and continues to be, my mom is the one who has been in my shoes.  She could encourage me to continue breastfeeding even when it hurt, she could tell me from experience that I would feel better eventually and I would establish a new normal.  And she could cuddle and sooth that baby when we both needed a break.

I'm blessed with a great mom who just came, knew what had to be done, and did it.  She made dinner, and made our bed.  She picked up prescriptions, and picked up the house.  She cleaned the accessories for my breastpump, and she cleaned the bathtub.  She held my baby when he cried, and she held her baby when she cried, too!  Above all, she let me know that she loves me and she wants to help me to be successful.

At one point, she looked at me holding Will and said, "Oh, Sarah, you remind me of me!"  Well, there's a reason for that!  Everything I know about being a mom I learned from my own mom.  Thank God for a good one!