I just read this great essay by Anna Quindlen, simply titled "Anna Quindlen on Motherhood." I had tears in my eyes by the time I got to the end of it. She shares her insights as a mom of grown children, but how wonderful for me to read it while my baby is just 2 months old! What a great reminder that this journey goes fast...too fast to get caught up in complaining about being tired or getting frustrated with more crying or get distracted by the chores that need to be done and miss out on valuable time with my son.
And I love her comments about trusting herself more than research. We have a built-in mom know-how that just takes over like I never imagined. I still read those darn books, but it's nice to read about another mom who, at the end of the day, trusted her gut.
What a great perspective, thinking about how her children are her favorite people in the world. I can get a little sad thinking about Will growing up and not needing me in the same ways anymore, but Anna has a great way of looking at it: With every stage, things just get better and better!
I love her phrase about her children "excavating [her] essential humanity"--wow, is this true. In just two months Will has magnified my selfishness like nothing else has. He has tested my patience and my joy, and forced me to do some serious soul searching. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Also, what a great reminder of how blessed I am that I get to stay home and enjoy these moments with Will. What a huge blessing for me--and I hope it will be a blessing for him as well. I hope I remain conscious of these blessings and never take them for granted!
10.28.2011
10.27.2011
New Discovery
Today Will discovered that those toys he's been noticing can actually be grasped. (Well, I put it in his hand and helped him realize this, but still. Baby steps.) I was somewhat surprised to see that as soon as he had a grasp, that toy went IMMEDIATELY into his mouth! It's unbelievable what a universal thing it is for children to put things in their mouths! Unreal. He was pretty darn cute, though.
10.25.2011
Mama Knows Best
The doctor informed us that we needed to work on more Tummy Time with Will. Apparently there's a small flat spot on one side of his head that we need to watch.
So...we tried.
He HATED it.
As his mom, I want Will to be happy...I hate having to do things that he doesn't like. I hate hearing him cry. But I also know what's best for him and know that Tummy Time is good for his development. Not only does it help that spot on his head, but it also develops those important neck muscles and prepares him for crawling. So...we keep trying.
What a great lesson as I think of myself as a child of God. He knows best. Even if we kick and scream and cry...He knows best and he acts out of love and goodness. He doesn't give up on us.
And eventually, we smile!
So...we tried.
He HATED it.
As his mom, I want Will to be happy...I hate having to do things that he doesn't like. I hate hearing him cry. But I also know what's best for him and know that Tummy Time is good for his development. Not only does it help that spot on his head, but it also develops those important neck muscles and prepares him for crawling. So...we keep trying.
And yesterday I even got a little smile! (Though he still looks a little like he's in pain...)
What a great lesson as I think of myself as a child of God. He knows best. Even if we kick and scream and cry...He knows best and he acts out of love and goodness. He doesn't give up on us.
And eventually, we smile!
10.23.2011
The Cry of Pain
Will's first shots went fine for him. He didn't cry too long, and he didn't get sick or anything afterward. However, they were tough for me in one regard. The way he cried when he was getting poked was a cry that I had never heard before: a cry of pain. I know his hungry cry, his fussy cry, his tired cry...and now I know his pain cry. I hope I don't hear it often, but I can't protect him forever! He will experience pain, and all I will be able to do then is all I can do now. I can't prevent pain, but I can cuddle and console him until the pain ends. And eventually it always will!
10.19.2011
Great Grandmothers
In his first 7 weeks, Will got to meet two of his great grandmothers! What a blessing!
His Grandma Hoffer lamented that she couldn't see him very well. She had to rely on others' descriptions of his outfit and his facial expressions. But as soon as he went into her arms, he began to smile...and sleep. Perfectly content. And Grandma didn't want to give him up!
Grandma Wilson was just in awe of Will the whole time she saw him while we spent the weekend together in Dayton. She couldn't believe she was able to see and hold her great grandson! She noted that she finally understood how special it was for her grandmother to have lived to see her great grandchildren. Grandma couldn't take her eyes off of Will and wanted to be looking at him or holding him every minute he was awake and not nursing. She held him and sang to him the same songs she had sung to me when I was a baby.
What a neat experience to see the two lives together--a life at the very beginning of existence and a life nearing the end. There is so much that our grandmothers have seen...and there is so much that Will will live to see that they cannot imagine. And in this time of overlap, there is much joy.
His Grandma Hoffer lamented that she couldn't see him very well. She had to rely on others' descriptions of his outfit and his facial expressions. But as soon as he went into her arms, he began to smile...and sleep. Perfectly content. And Grandma didn't want to give him up!
Grandma Wilson was just in awe of Will the whole time she saw him while we spent the weekend together in Dayton. She couldn't believe she was able to see and hold her great grandson! She noted that she finally understood how special it was for her grandmother to have lived to see her great grandchildren. Grandma couldn't take her eyes off of Will and wanted to be looking at him or holding him every minute he was awake and not nursing. She held him and sang to him the same songs she had sung to me when I was a baby.
What a neat experience to see the two lives together--a life at the very beginning of existence and a life nearing the end. There is so much that our grandmothers have seen...and there is so much that Will will live to see that they cannot imagine. And in this time of overlap, there is much joy.
10.18.2011
So, um, what do you do all day?
I recently had a friend ask me this question and I love it because I asked my stay-at-home mom friends the same thing! What exactly do you do all day?
Well, for me, the first waking is usually around 6 now, so Will is fed then and then sometimes goes back to sleep for 3 hours. (Other times, he doesn't--this is a new trick. When he doesn't go back down, he'll surprise me with one long nap at some point during the day, but it's a surprise! I never know which nap will be a long one...what a fun game, huh?)
When he does go back down, I know I have a chunk of time to get things done: I eat, shower, get ready for the day, pump, maybe write a blog post, and try to squeeze in 1-2 extra hours of sleep. When Will wakes again at 10 or so, he feeds again, and then I change him out of his pajamas and the day begins.
From here on out we work on 3-hour cycles of eating, playing, napping...eating, playing, napping. I try to make the most of my time throughout these cycles, stealing 5 minutes here to change the laundry over, and 10 minutes there to prep vegetables for dinner. While nursing, I can check my email or flip through a magazine. While playing, I can leave him on the floor for a couple minutes to grab something to eat or make coffee. But mostly we sing and read and "play" with his toys. Then as he starts to get fussy, I wrap him in a blanket, and sometimes strap him into the Baby Bjorn carrier, and sing him to sleep for a nap. During nap time, I can eat, clean up the house, download and email pictures, etc. But these naps are short...generally only about 20 minutes...before he wakes up and we're back at it again!
By the time Alex gets home, I make dinner, then spend the evening nursing while Will "cluster feeds." I am lucky if I get a few quiet moments for me to eat. Then he falls asleep around 9, until it all begins again the next day.
So, that's sort of what I do all day--until our routine changes again! I am NOT bored...and I do try to build in trips out every day, timing them to a nap time so Will can sleep in the Baby Bjorn while I carry him through the aisles of Target or visit with a friend.
And now I hear him waking up, so it's time to go!
Well, for me, the first waking is usually around 6 now, so Will is fed then and then sometimes goes back to sleep for 3 hours. (Other times, he doesn't--this is a new trick. When he doesn't go back down, he'll surprise me with one long nap at some point during the day, but it's a surprise! I never know which nap will be a long one...what a fun game, huh?)
When he does go back down, I know I have a chunk of time to get things done: I eat, shower, get ready for the day, pump, maybe write a blog post, and try to squeeze in 1-2 extra hours of sleep. When Will wakes again at 10 or so, he feeds again, and then I change him out of his pajamas and the day begins.
From here on out we work on 3-hour cycles of eating, playing, napping...eating, playing, napping. I try to make the most of my time throughout these cycles, stealing 5 minutes here to change the laundry over, and 10 minutes there to prep vegetables for dinner. While nursing, I can check my email or flip through a magazine. While playing, I can leave him on the floor for a couple minutes to grab something to eat or make coffee. But mostly we sing and read and "play" with his toys. Then as he starts to get fussy, I wrap him in a blanket, and sometimes strap him into the Baby Bjorn carrier, and sing him to sleep for a nap. During nap time, I can eat, clean up the house, download and email pictures, etc. But these naps are short...generally only about 20 minutes...before he wakes up and we're back at it again!
By the time Alex gets home, I make dinner, then spend the evening nursing while Will "cluster feeds." I am lucky if I get a few quiet moments for me to eat. Then he falls asleep around 9, until it all begins again the next day.
So, that's sort of what I do all day--until our routine changes again! I am NOT bored...and I do try to build in trips out every day, timing them to a nap time so Will can sleep in the Baby Bjorn while I carry him through the aisles of Target or visit with a friend.
And now I hear him waking up, so it's time to go!
10.16.2011
Two Months!
Alex and I are still struggling to connect at night when Will is still fussy and hungry. It's just not what we're used to. "Our time" is limited and often cut short by a crying baby. We're learning how to adjust, how to find time or how to talk over the tears. I know we'll figure it out, but that's the hardest part of this whole experience so far.
Still, it's fun in the evening when Alex gets to play with Will and see the development I witness during the day. He's on the verge of laughing, but now it's just a series of coos accompanying that big ol' grin of his. He's started to pull at the giraffe toy attached to his play gym. Very exciting stuff! Can't wait to see what I'm writing about next month!
10.13.2011
Road Trip
We took our first road trip last weekend and drove to Dayton. Not sure how this would work, Alex drove, Bella got shotgun privileges, and I rode in the back with Will in order to soothe and feed him when necessary. Bella was in heaven (Alex turned on the seat warmer for her!).
Will slept the first 4 hours of each leg. After he woke up, we fed him a bottle then stopped to change him, walk Bella, and feed us. Then Will went back to sleep! Not a bad way to spend a road trip.
Dancing
Will loves to be sung to. It is how I get him to sleep for all naps--I end up dancing around the living room with Will in my arms or in the baby carrier and singing all the songs I can think of.
Then I imagine myself someday dancing with my son at his wedding! What a thought. This little baby that I now can cradle in my arms and carry around with one hand will one day be towering over me.
But we'll still be dancing!
Then I imagine myself someday dancing with my son at his wedding! What a thought. This little baby that I now can cradle in my arms and carry around with one hand will one day be towering over me.
But we'll still be dancing!
10.11.2011
Heirloom
As a special gift, my mother made this adorable outfit for Will. She loves to smock and do needlework, but this is her answer for heirloom sewing for a baby boy. I love it!
10.03.2011
Bella (part 2)
Bella bonded with Will before he was born...and now that he's here, she still loves him! She is particularly curious about him and protective of him. When he cries, she rushes to his side. When he's being held, she comes over to look and smell, and when he's playing, she wants to play, too! Will is just now starting to notice her and it's only a matter of time before they are best friends!
10.02.2011
Noticing
With each new development, I'm more and more awed by the miracle that is my son. He is becoming more and more aware of the world around him, and very curious about everything. He can lie under his activity mat for a long time without getting bored, just looking and noticing the colors and shapes around the family room. Even after I enter the room to feed him when he's crying in his crib, he will lie for a few minutes captivated by the slats on the crib and now, his mobile above. I hope he never loses this curiosity about the world and this zeal for life. And I hope I become more of a noticer, too!
10.01.2011
All smiles!
One lesson I've learned from Will is to just smile! He enjoys life. He smiles all the time.
He smiles when he's nursing...
...and when he's in the swing...
...and when he's asleep in his crib...
...and when he's playing...
...and when he's napping in the bouncy seat...
...he smiles when he's being changed and when he's being held. He even smiles in the middle of the night when he's fighting to go to sleep, or when I place him in his crib. And every time, it melts my heart. We can all take a lesson from him! No matter what's going on, just smile. What a surefire way to change the tone of any situation.
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