Friday was the last day of school…ever? Knowing that I’m not going back to teaching makes me really excited. I have long dreamt of being a stay-at-home mom. I believe it’s going to be best for me, Alex, and our son. With my personality, I would constantly feel as though I’m not a good enough teacher, mom, and wife. I throw myself into whatever I do, and I want to make my family the thing I devote my time to.
Still, I was sad on Friday when it all hit me that I wasn’t going back. I was sad to say good-bye to my colleagues—teachers I have worked with for 8 years and have come to enjoy and respect. I was sad to say good-bye to that chapter of my life. Life is all about ending one chapter and starting another. But with each new chapter, change is hard. And I’m not sure it’s the change as much as it is the unknown. What will it be like to be a mom? What will it be like to be a family instead of a couple? How will our marriage change? Can we afford to give up my income? How will I find people to interact with on an adult level so Cheerios and dirty diapers don’t totally consume my life? Will I feel productive and satisfied?
I was sad on Friday, but I keep coming back to the truth I feel deep down in my soul that this is what I am called to do. This is what I deeply want to do. I know that I will have bad days, but I know that I will be giving my time and energy to a great cause and I will feel content in that truth.
