That's Motherhood

My little boy is two weeks old today.  It's been a total blur!  Before my mother left last Thursday, I was physically feeling so much better, but still crying uncontrollably.  As I'd been relying on my mother's expertise to coach me through all the other aches and pains, I also asked her about this: "When will the crying stop?"  She welled up with tears herself and said, "It never stops.  That's motherhood.  There will be moments when you feel so much love that your chest can't hold your heart."

Even today (and I'm admittedly sleep deprived), I'm holding my baby boy and rocking him to sleep and the tears come again.  I just feel so much love that my chest can't hold my heart.  I just want to freeze this moment in time and revisit it whenever I want.  There is nothing better than cuddling a sleeping baby, my son, hearing his breathing while he is calmed by my heartbeat.  It's so hard late at night when all I want to do is put him to bed so that I can also get some sleep!  But too soon these days will be gone.  I want to soak up every minute.

I cry less now, and they are happy tears, but I don't expect them to ever disappear.  That's motherhood.

He's here!

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Best Pregnancy Tips I Received

I keep saying that parenting is a lot like planning a wedding.  Everyone you talk to has an opinion to share and no one is afraid to voice their disagreement or their dislike.  Ultimately, though, you have to remember that this is your wedding day (or your child).  They had their chance to make their decisions and do it their way--this time is all about you!

So, I don't want to tell other moms what to do, but I will share things that I have learned and you can take it or leave it!

Here are some of the best tips I received during my pregnancy (in no particular order):

1. Borrow maternity clothes if you can.  You can save so much money!  And really, you only wear them for about 5 months.  Any new things you buy won't be worn out, so return the favor and share with the next pregnant woman you know!

2. Drink a glass of orange juice before your ultrasounds.  The sugar is just enough to get baby moving around so you have a much better chance of getting him into a position where the sonographer can detect gender and can get a shot of that precious little face (especially awesome in 3D!).

3. Don't buy maternity underwear.  This stuff is overpriced and unnecessary.  Instead, buy a pack of bikini underwear a size larger than you normally wear and you'll be fine.  For bras, I bought a pack of bra extenders at Target for $6.99 which allowed me to wear my normal bras and sports bras.

4. Get your hands on a copy of "Baby Bargains."  I loved this book.  It details all of the items you might need to buy and compares brands and models.  It also gives a realistic view of what you actually need to have for baby to help you avoid overspending.  In addition, it provides lots of money-saving tips and safety tips.  I great resource.  I read it cover-to-cover before I went to register for items.  I felt armed and ready to make the best choices I could!

5. Lather up!  The best way I know to avoid stretch marks is to drink lots of water and to lather up with lotion in the morning and at night.  I'm sure this method isn't fool proof, but from what I've read, stretch marks occur because the skin gets dry and stretched out uncomfortably.  Keep it moist (inside and out) and you're a step ahead of the game!

6. Say "yes" to anyone who offers their help with the baby.  For some women, it's not easy to accept help, but don't play the martyr.  There are lots of people who can and will help you out with the baby--you don't have to do it all on your own!

7. Do your kegels!

8. Don't stress out about the labor and delivery.  It's nothing you can't handle.  With an epidural, I would even say that it's uncomfortable, but not painful.  You can do it. 

9. Enjoy it.  There were many moments, especially ones when I was hugging a toilet, when this one did not sound like a good tip at all!  But now that I'm at the end I will say that this is a unique--and relatively short--time in your life.  Everyday you're witnessing a miracle!  And when you aren't pregnant any more, people aren't so ready to allow you to cut in line, or give up the best seat, or fix your drink for you.  Even when you're at your most uncomfortable, you can enjoy the pregnancy perks! :)

A Matter of Priorities

When Alex and I were dating, we were intentional about outlining our priorities.  For us, it was important to keep God first and each other second.  Everything else came after that.  This guided our relationship, forcing us to keep each other accountable for our personal devotions and making church attendance a regular part of our week.  It also challenged us to invest more time and energy in our relationship than our jobs or our relationships with others.  It isn't always easy, but we still live by these principles and try to remind ourselves and each other of what really matters, and what doesn't.

I've heard a lot of people say that becoming parents changes your priorities.  I know to some extent this is true, but for us, I know that our top two priorities must remain in tact.  Children have to take 3rd place.  This might sound cruel, but I have seen and heard stories of too many couples who have prioritized their children's needs over those of their own relationship and it is detrimental every time.  In some cases it seems like parents get so obsessed with their children's lives that they neglect to maintain communication and intimacy with their spouse, leading to the dissolution of the marriage.  Sometimes it seems parents are so involved with their children's lives that the children never learn to be independent--and the parents don't either, for that matter, constantly finding their identity, sense of purpose, and even sometimes their emotional support in their children.

I've heard it said that the greatest gift a couple can give to their children is a strong marriage--I believe this is true.  If we keep our top two priorities in tact, God first and our marriage second, I hope we'll be setting an example of a relationship that thrives, of people who are committed to our faith and our marriage, and that we'll have a strong relationship in tact when eventually our children move out on their own.  I hope we will give our family the stability and security necessary to allow our kids to take risks and find their own identity. 

I know it won't be easy!  I already dread leaving our dog so that Alex and I can go on a vacation--I know it will be really hard to leave a child!  But remembering our priorities will help us make conscious decisions and hopefully lead to a blessed life.

Just waiting...

Well, the nursery is ready.  The strollers are assembled and hanging up in the garage.  The car seat is installed--and even certified by a car seat specialist!  The pack-n-play is set up and ready for diaper changes and naps.  The baby clothes have been washed and are put away in the dresser, sorted by size. 

The only thing missing is, well, a baby!

So I'm doing what I can....  I'm eating the spicy foods, walking the mall, massaging my feet, massaging my hands, bouncing on an exercise ball...and trying to be patient!  All I can really do it wait.

Best Baby Shower Gift Ideas

Before I actually got pregnant, I had no ideas on what to give new moms.  In fact, I had a near panic attack the first time I walked into Babies R Us with a printed registry and tried to find specific items!  Now I can relay some ideas based on some of my favorite gifts.

• Anything off the registry is a great idea.  You know it's something the new mom wants/needs...and she has the ability to take it back and exchange it if it doesn't work out.  
• Here's a tip: When buying off a registry, I like to group things together and make little "sets."  For example, group together several bath items (hooded towel, wash cloths, toys, toy holder, bath kneeler, newborn bathtub, spout cover, etc.) or several feeding items (bibs, spoons, sippy cups, plates/bowls, snack holders, disposable placemats, etc.).  Putting together a gift of several coordinating items makes for something fun, and useful.

• Anything personalized (if you know the baby's name!).  Towels, bags, burp cloths, wall art, etc.  You can buy some personalized things online, or you can buy what you want and take it to an embroidery shop.

• A great diaper bag.  I loved the Vera Bradley bag I got!  It's big and stylish.

• Aden and Anais swaddle blanket set with a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth.  Trust me. 

• A gift bag full of necessities.  These usually don't make it to a shower because they're not high on the "cute" factor, but any new mom will appreciate having these things on hand!  Fill a bag with things like: baby bath wash, baby lotion, vaseline, safety Q-Tips, teething gel, diaper rash cream, baby Tylenol, baby nail clippers, diapers and wipes. 

• Laundry basket (or cute bag, basket, or tin bucket) filled with clothes, hats, socks, bibs, blankets, etc. all clipped to a clothesline or a ribbon.  This is a cute and unexpected gift!  (Make sure you get clothes that are different sizes.  New babies tend to get a lot of clothes sized 0-3 months, outgrow them quickly, and then mom has to go back to the store!) 

• A gift just for the new mom.  Why didn't I think of this earlier?  One of my favorite gifts was a pink organic cotton nursing cami.  This was something I needed and a gift that said "I'm thinking of you."  I know it's always tempting to buy the cute baby stuff, but don't forget about pampering the new mom.  Maybe throw in a mani/pedi or a massage certificate, or a Starbucks card.  This could be something you could even make an outing with the mom-to-be and help distract her during those long weeks leading up to her due date (a good pedi may even spur on labor!) or could be a nice treat for her after the baby comes...and an excuse to get out of the house.  Again, this is a great idea for someone pregnant with a second or third baby.
  

• Basket of books.  As an English teacher, maybe I'm just partial to this, but I loved getting a big basket packed with some of my favorite childhood titles: Goodnight Moon, The Little Engine That Could, Curious George, Winnie the Pooh, Peter Rabbit, Dr. Seuss, etc.  Think about board books as well as children's books the baby can grow into.

• If you're crafty, a homemade gift is great.  Think about making a blanket, knit sweater, nursing wrap, burp cloths, etc.

• A diaper cake.  Again, you have to be crafty for this one, but they are super cute and much appreciated.  Once the cake is assembled, stick little teethers or plush toys in various places on the cake, or decorate with silk flowers or other decorative items.  Look for instructions online.  This instructional video is helpful, and so is this website.

• A scrapbook/photo album.  Moms have great intentions of making great little baby scrapbooks, but life gets in the way--especially if it's a second or third baby.  If this is your thing, put together a scrapbook that only requires mom to fill in the pictures.  It could be a plain book, or you could designate pages for specific events like holidays and other "firsts."  Some pages to consider: First bath, haircut, day at home, trip, smile, words, steps, teeth, friends, etc.  Or, you could do a page for each month that mom can fill in with an appropriate picture throughout the year.

• A baby "bouquet."  I got this idea from Martha Stewart, so I'll let her explain it.  You can watch the episode here.  Also, check out Etsy.com for some cute ideas on variations, including baby cupcakes and ice cream cones.  All are super cute!

• Nursing wrap and matching burp cloths.  Here's a pattern and instructions for a nursing wrap.  Then save some of the leftover fabric and sew it onto the edges of a cloth diaper for a fashionable matching burp cloth.

Nursery Design on a Dime

I love that HGTV show "Design on a Dime" where the hosts redecorate a room on a budget.  It's inspiring.  So, since I'm staying home and we're losing a significant amount of income, I have had to do my own "Design on a Dime"--I'll give you my tips.

1. With the crib, skip the crib bumpers and fancy (i.e. expensive) crib sets.  The bumpers should be used anyway (see my post on "Things I Didn't Know About S.I.D.S.").  Instead, I registered for a cheap crib skirt from Carter's ($15) and bought coordinating sheets ($10 each) and changing pad covers ($15).

2. We were blessed to have in-laws who purchased our nursery furniture as a gift.  Go ahead and ask for it!  I also was able to get the glider on sale for 20% off at Babies R Us.  They are constantly running sales, so just wait for the right time to buy.

3. Use stick-on wall art instead of framed art.  I got this whole set of letters and animals from Amazon.com for $14.  It decorates three of the four walls.  What a deal!  And, it's completely removable so you can change it around or get rid of it all together when you want to.











4. Find stuff that's already in your house to decorate the room.  The shelves were in our basement!  We had intended to put them up somewhere else and changed our mind.  They look great here.  Everything on the shelves was either a gift or something I had around the house already.  The lamps were ones we also had around and hadn't used since our move.




5. I bought an extra crib skirt, deconstructed it, and made it into a valance.  I only used half of it for the valance and had enough leftover to piece into a dresser scarf to protect the top of the dresser from the scratchy lamp and basket.  For lining on the dresser scarf, I used a twin-size sheet I found for $5.  Not bad!






With a savvy registry and a little creativity, you can have a cute, functional nursery without breaking the bank!