Being Conscious

I just read this great essay by Anna Quindlen, simply titled "Anna Quindlen on Motherhood."  I had tears in my eyes by the time I got to the end of it.  She shares her insights as a mom of grown children, but how wonderful for me to read it while my baby is just 2 months old!  What a great reminder that this journey goes fast...too fast to get caught up in complaining about being tired or getting frustrated with more crying or get distracted by the chores that need to be done and miss out on valuable time with my son. 

And I love her comments about trusting herself more than research.  We have a built-in mom know-how that just takes over like I never imagined.  I still read those darn books, but it's nice to read about another mom who, at the end of the day, trusted her gut. 

What a great perspective, thinking about how her children are her favorite people in the world.  I can get a little sad thinking about Will growing up and not needing me in the same ways anymore, but Anna has a great way of looking at it: With every stage, things just get better and better!

I love her phrase about her children "excavating [her] essential humanity"--wow, is this true.  In just two months Will has magnified my selfishness like nothing else has.  He has tested my patience and my joy, and forced me to do some serious soul searching.  I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Also, what a great reminder of how blessed I am that I get to stay home and enjoy these moments with Will.  What a huge blessing for me--and I hope it will be a blessing for him as well.  I hope I remain conscious of these blessings and never take them for granted!

New Discovery

Today Will discovered that those toys he's been noticing can actually be grasped.  (Well, I put it in his hand and helped him realize this, but still.  Baby steps.)  I was somewhat surprised to see that as soon as he had a grasp, that toy went IMMEDIATELY into his mouth!  It's unbelievable what a universal thing it is for children to put things in their mouths!  Unreal.  He was pretty darn cute, though.

Mama Knows Best

The doctor informed us that we needed to work on more Tummy Time with Will.  Apparently there's a small flat spot on one side of his head that we need to watch. 

So...we tried. 

He HATED it.

As his mom, I want Will to be happy...I hate having to do things that he doesn't like.  I hate hearing him cry.  But I also know what's best for him and know that Tummy Time is good for his development.  Not only does it help that spot on his head, but it also develops those important neck muscles and prepares him for crawling.  So...we keep trying. 

And yesterday I even got a little smile!  (Though he still looks a little like he's in pain...)

What a great lesson as I think of myself as a child of God.  He knows best.  Even if we kick and scream and cry...He knows best and he acts out of love and goodness.  He doesn't give up on us.

And eventually, we smile!

The Cry of Pain

Will's first shots went fine for him.  He didn't cry too long, and he didn't get sick or anything afterward.  However, they were tough for me in one regard.  The way he cried when he was getting poked was a cry that I had never heard before: a cry of pain.  I know his hungry cry, his fussy cry, his tired cry...and now I know his pain cry.  I hope I don't hear it often, but I can't protect him forever!  He will experience pain, and all I will be able to do then is all I can do now.  I can't prevent pain, but I can cuddle and console him until the pain ends.  And eventually it always will!

Great Grandmothers

In his first 7 weeks, Will got to meet two of his great grandmothers!  What a blessing!

His Grandma Hoffer lamented that she couldn't see him very well.  She had to rely on others' descriptions of his outfit and his facial expressions.  But as soon as he went into her arms, he began to smile...and sleep.  Perfectly content.  And Grandma didn't want to give him up!

Grandma Wilson was just in awe of Will the whole time she saw him while we spent the weekend together in Dayton.  She couldn't believe she was able to see and hold her great grandson!  She noted that she finally understood how special it was for her grandmother to have lived to see her great grandchildren.  Grandma couldn't take her eyes off of Will and wanted to be looking at him or holding him every minute he was awake and not nursing.  She held him and sang to him the same songs she had sung to me when I was a baby.

What a neat experience to see the two lives together--a life at the very beginning of existence and a life nearing the end.  There is so much that our grandmothers have seen...and there is so much that Will will live to see that they cannot imagine.  And in this time of overlap, there is much joy.