Things I Can't Say

There are things I feel I can't say...not without judgment or someone feeling like they have to sweep in and fix the situation. 

Things like: Sometimes I'm lonely.  

Things like: Sometimes I am frustrated and tired of feeling stuck in the house. 

Things like: I don't enjoy every minute of this stage of life. 

Things like: Sometimes I hear that Will is up from a nap, but I let him be for a few extra minutes just because I'm in the middle of something.

Things like: Sometimes I feel like I can't do this as well as I want to.  I can't "do it all"--and I don't even have that much on my plate, do I?

Things like: I just want to sleep in until noon.

Things like: I thought this would be easier.

Things like: Even as hard as this is, I still want a whole bunch of children. 

I'm not looking for answers, or fixes.  I'm anticipating the person who says (or thinks to himself), "If you're so unhappy, why don't you just go back to work?" or "If one is so hard, how can you want more?" 

The truth is that I'm not unhappy.  I'm just human.  And the truth is that it's not all about me.  I've made a decision based on what I think is in the best interest of my entire family...including me.  And I don't regret that decision for a minute.  Far from it!  We all have bad days.  We all have things about our jobs that we dislike.  I just haven't had the guts to say it.

I am so blessed to be able to stay home.  I don't want to complain.  But I want to be real.  I want to be heard.  I want to know I'm not alone.