When we got married, Alex was looking for a job as a history teacher and I couldn't imagine NOT teaching English. We imagined summers off with the kids while we each pursued our careers.
Four and a half years later, our lives are totally different than we envisioned them to be. And it's all for the best!
Alex couldn't find a teaching job and ended up working at the family business. He started doing basically data entry and was miserable for a while. He thought about changing careers completely--going to seminary perhaps. We thought about moving. And we thought about kids. I was starting to have a desire to have kids and stay home with them full time. In our current state, we knew it wasn't possible financially to pull something like that off, and we knew it would be impossible if Alex decided to go to seminary, so we prayed and we waited.
Alex was soon promoted to "Business Account Manager" and with that promotion came a small raise and a whole new set of responsibilites. Alex started to really enjoy his job and soon, aided by some solid teaching about a biblical view of work from a local business group, longings for seminary dissipated and he began to feel content and even inspired in his job.
Meanwhile, my job was going badly. Things in my district were really rough. The superintendent had initiated policies I disagreed with. My department head, whom I adored, left for another job. The new department head, with little understanding of the district politics, implemented a new grading system without proper lead work and a firestorm of angry parents and students erupted making my job very difficult and antagonistic.
And THEN I got pregnant.
So, when the time came, the decision to stay home was an easy one. Now it is even clearer that not only can we pull this off, but it is best for our family.
Since Will has been born, Alex has been promoted again, this time to Sales Manager. His responsibilities have dramatically increased, including significantly more out-of-town overnights and late nights with customers or plant obligations.
Last night, Alex affirmed that our decision was a wise one. Because I am home, I am able to take care of things on the homefront (I actually call my new position "Director of Household Operations"!). Because I'm not teaching, my stress level is so much lower that I have the capacity to be supportive and to balance Alex out as his stress is rising. Alex still feels a bad leaving us for an overnight, even more so now that Will is here, but at least he feels less guilty about it knowing that Will has a stability at home. And I am feeling so fulfilled and so blessed to be home full time! I truly feel like I am doing what I was designed to do.
We've been thinking about marriage as we're reading Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage in our small group. This is the way marriage is supposed to work. It isn't how we imagined it would be, but we have changed and evolved, listened to each other, listened to our own hearts and desires, and we have tried to do what's best for each other. As a result, Alex and I are helping each other be the best versions of ourselves.
Marriage can be tough and it requires intentionality, especially with a kiddo in the picture. But when it's working right, it's a wonderful thing!
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