Eating My Words

To prepare for our baby, I read books, did online research, attended classes...and went in to this whole thing with a parenting strategy that I assumed to be foolproof.  I was armed with information from the experts.  I realized early on that a huge part of parenting is eating your words.

After a breastfeeding class, I had gone over with Alex all the "dos and don'ts" that I had recorded carefully in my notes.  Among these was the advice to stay away from pacifiers and bottles until the baby is 2-4 weeks old and breastfeeding is well established.  There is a fear that the baby may otherwise experience "nipple confusion."  The second night in the hospital, I sent Will to the nursery so that I could get some sleep.  When they brought him in to me to nurse in the middle of the night, I noticed a pacifier in his bassinet that he had clearly used.  I had to make a decision right then about how to handle this and other similar instances going forward.  Did I want to make a big deal of this and ask the nurses to please avoid a pacifier at all costs?  Or did I want to trust that everything would be fine if he had a pacifier for a few minutes to buy me a little extra sleep.  I chose the latter.

I'm so glad that I had that experience so early on.  It has helped me release some of my fears of not doing everything "right" and it has set a precedent to help me make future parenting decisions.  Yes, I'm glad I have so much research and information at my disposal, and I will do that best I can, but at the end of the day, you have to do what works for you and your family. 

So I wasn't afraid to give a bottle early on when my breasts hurt too badly to nurse.  And I have rocked Will to sleep when I can't do anything else to settle him down.  I have let him sleep in a dirty diaper when I just can't bear to wake him up and risk a meltdown. 

Maybe I'm a terrible mother.  Maybe I'm just discovering what parenting is really about.