It's a birthmark..."surgery"?
Three doctors said the same thing. The nevus sebaceous on Will's left scalp had to be removed. And it had to be done in surgery. Baby hospital gown. ID wristband. Fasting. General anesthesia. Stitches. Scar where hair will not grow. Ugh.
After weeks of dreading the day, yesterday Will had this surgery and he did just great. Now it's over and it's healing...all downhill from here.
I did very well (Alex told me so). I did not get worked up when the anesthesiologist went over all the information with us. I did not get worked up when the pediatric plastic surgeon came in to get our consent on all the paperwork. I did not get worked up when the nurse put the little band on his wrist. In fact, I smiled at how cute he was sitting in this hospital crib-bed with his little hospital gown on, playing with his toys.
Now when they finally wheeled him away, and I could hear his unmistakable cry all the way down the hallway...then I cried. I knew that would be the hardest part. Will must have been so scared. Everyone tells me he won't remember a thing and I hope that's the case. I hope he doesn't remember how it felt to be taken away from his mama.
While we waited I overheard the couple next to us talking about their daughter's surgery happening at the same time as Will's. I didn't ask about her condition, but I heard that they were in from out of town and had stayed at the Ronald McDonald House the night before. Their daughter's surgery was an hour and half long. What a reminder to me of God's grace to us. Will's birthmark is not a big deal. It will be off and it's over. All will be well. It's just a skin thing. There are kids everyday going in for life-threatening surgeries. Thank God that our experience is so minor! Talk about perspective.
After an hour, the doctor came to let us know that everything was okay. Shortly after that, a nurse brought a sobbing Will and his IV bag into the waiting room and called for us. I couldn't gather my things and get to him fast enough. The first thing I saw was the 2-inch cut on his head. I didn't realize it would be so big. I felt a little sick to my stomach.
Even in my arms, Will cried. His eyes were as puffy as they were when he was first born. Two very traumatic experiences in his short life. He didn't want the bottle I brought--he only wanted to nurse. When he was nursing he was calm. He wasn't even eating much, more just hanging out, but he knew he was safe.
He was awake, but out of it for a while after he came to us. His eyes were dilating funny and all he did was moan. No smiles, no familiar baby sounds. Just moans. He cried hysterically when the nurse took the IV out of his foot. Poor guy. I just held him close and sang to him, tried to let him feel like everything was okay.
Just like they said, after an hour and a half with Will, we were ready to go home. He slept in the car, and by the time we got home he was smiling again and more or less "normal." He was very clingy and either Alex or I stayed in close proximity all day long. Today already he's smiling and laughing like nothing happened.
But something did happen, and he'll have a scar forever to show for it. Of course every mom just wants the best for her kid. I hope we made the right decision having this removed and I hope he's not ever teased or embarrassed. I hope he knows that we did the best we could.
Alex reminded me: If we weren't born into the family, place, and time that we were, think how different Will's experience could have been. He might have been born with a mark that turned cancerous and took his life as a boy. No one may have even realized what the problem was. Instead, Will Hoffer went to three doctors for advice, went to one of the best pediatric plastic surgeons in the country for surgery, had drugs during and after the procedure to eliminate pain, and Mom and Dad's insurance covered a large chunk of the whole thing. And he'll be fine. No worries. Not even a follow up appointment!
Praise God for his grace. I will continue to pray and trust God for a quick healing and a small scar. With God, all things are possible!
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