4.15.2012

Paradox of Motherhood

Last night was a tough night.  Will would not settle down and go to bed.  Even nursing, he would pull off and scream every once in a while at random intervals.  It was so frustrating.  Finally, we gave him some Tylenol (this must be teething related!) and put him to bed--an hour after his normal bed time.  He continued to scream.

I couldn't take it.

After a little while, I went up to his room and picked him up and nursed him again in his room in the dark.  I sang to him...and he fell asleep.

Even after he was asleep, I kept rocking with him.  I was just soaking in the moment.  As frustrating as these days can be sometimes, I will miss them tremendously when they are gone.  I take advantage of every opportunity to cuddle and rock with Will knowing one day I won't be able to hold his whole little body in my arms.

Motherhood is a strange paradox.  It is the greatest challenge I have ever faced and it brings the greatest joy I have ever known.

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