Lessons

I have learned that God gives you a baby in His timing and not in yours.  For us, it was only when we surrendered the entire process to his care that I got pregnant.  I remember standing in the shower while yet another of my weekly pregnancy test strips was developing and I prayed, “God, I trust this all to Your timing.”  And that was the morning I saw two pink lines.

I’ve also learned already that this little boy is God’s and not mine.  I know that God uses bad experiences to bring us to Him.  I know that his goal for my life is that I am completely dependant upon Him and that I live like that’s true.  For a few months I lived with a fear that God would take away this pregnancy in order to teach me to trust him.  I wouldn’t pray to draw nearer to Him.  I wouldn’t surrender the baby to Him.  I was so afraid.  But I learned another truth about God.  God is love.  Yes, I’ve known that since vacation Bible school, but I really had to get it.  God is love.  He loves me.  He loves this baby.  I can totally trust Him with the pregnancy and with this child as he grows because He loves him even more than I ever could.  He wants us to depend on Him.  And we can. Completely.  What a relief!